Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet:

“Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,
    and they shall call his name Immanuel”

(which means, God with us). When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.

Matthew 1:18–25

Joseph is the forgotten man of the Christmas story. Which, as a first-time father, I

completely relate to. We recently took our daughter to a family member’s school, where

she met many of the teachers. Of course, they were all obsessed with her because she

is the cutest baby ever (their opinion, not just mine). But every time we met someone

new and got introduced, the introduction is the same - this is Magdalene, this is Lillie,

and this is Ean. By the time they get to me, they have no interest. I understand. I’m also

far more interested in my baby and wife than myself. It’s my place, and for many people,

this is Joseph’s place in the Christmas story.

But because Joseph is also the forgotten man, he is also the misunderstood man.

Joseph, in my history, is often presented as unimportant, at best, or a bit of a deadbeat,

at worst. I remember Joseph being presented in kid’s church as someone who wanted to get out of the situation. It’s easy to interpret this line in that way - “Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.” If we skim

over this line, we can easily think that Joseph is just trying to save face and not be known around town as the guy who claims to have a pregnant fiancee, but one who was still a virgin. But this isn’t the true Joseph, and we do ourselves a disservice when we summarize Joseph in this way. There’s something we can all learn from Joseph.

I think a more realistic look at Joseph is that he is a fearful father. Which, as a first-time

father, I completely relate to. I’m fearful of what happens if she gets off schedule (thanks Babywise - and if you understand that reference, you know exactly what I mean). I’m fearful of what things will influence her. I’m fearful of *gestures generally at the world*. But all these fears are nowhere near to what Joseph might have been feeling. Joseph’s fears were that if the community found out about Mary’s pregnancy, things wouldn’t be great for him, but it’d almost certainly be worse for her. He’s fearful of what will happen to the baby if something happens to Mary. He’s fearful of what his life will look like if this comes true. He’s fearful that he might have the responsibility of being the earthly father

to a baby that was promised by the Holy Spirit himself. And being human, Joseph

begins to do what we all also have done - he makes a decision in his fear. His decision

seems right and fair, and in many ways it is. He doesn’t want to bring Mary to shame

and ruin her life. Joseph, in the midst of his fears, is actually attempting to be a faithful

man who wants to do what is best for Mary, the woman he was pledged to marry.

But before Joseph follows through on this decision, Joseph does something we rarely

do, something that ends up having a great impact on his own life, Mary’s life, and

Jesus’s life. Before he acts, “he considered these things,” - and when he does this, the

Lord speaks to him. When Joseph considered these things,” the Lord showed up. When Joseph slowed down and “considered these things,” he heard from God that he actually needed to do something different. 

Christmastime - and really, just life in general - often feels like a string of decisions where we are trying to do what is best in the midst of extenuating circumstances (even if our circumstances aren’t nearly as extreme as Joseph’s). We are fearful, and we make decisions out of fear without considering anything or anybody else. Sometimes, those

decisions can make sense, like Joseph’s did. Other times, they are doomed from the

start because of the fears they are made out of. Some of the worst decisions I’ve ever

made were out of fear. Fear of embarrassment. Fear of disapproval. Fear of the future. And despite knowing this, the next time I get fearful, I often do the same thing. I don’t slow down. I don’t consider my ways. But whenever I do, the Lord is often gracious

enough to speak to me, or at least nudge me in a different direction. Sometimes it’s just

a thought that comes in my head that I know is from the Lord. Sometimes it’s someone

else’s voice. It may be different for you, but it’s true for everyone - when we give the

Lord space, He always works.

Don’t forget Joseph this Christmas season, and don’t forget to take the time to consider

things the next time fears come your way.

Ean Snell